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I drove myself home from the airport and left messages on his answering machine that night, the next day and the day after that. When he called me three days later, it sounded as if he was calling from miles away.

After I cried, I lay in bed that night, hands and feet unfeeling, staring at the ceiling. Six months of dating was just not enough time to build a relationship that we could both hold on to. In that time, I refused to date anyone. I simply could not put another kind, interesting, funny man through this horrible process. In the end I landed in the Midwest, with only my dog for company. Although I immediately made friends on-campus and off, I found it difficult to consider dating.

How do I balance my commitment to my children with my commitment to my research career? How do my academic quiet and I strategize to find two professorships in the same university? When someone mentions the two-body problem, a palpable discrimination of collective panic seems to overtake the range.

I have spent wholly over a decade in the dating world. But more to the call, I figured I had plenty of time. When a boyfriend of four years abruptly walked at liberty on me, I realized that finding a zing partner was about so much more than fervour.

Meanwhile, I had unmistakable to pursue a job in science, and I knew from watching my female mentors that I would probably be battling institutionalized and internalized sexism for the rest of my career.

Academic dating non-academic
  • carebearstare: I know lots of academics involved long-term with non-academics-- just like I know lawyers dating non-lawyers and nurses married to non-nurses.
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  • I have been dating an awesome guy for a little over a year now.
  • Love In (and Out of) Academe

Fake profiles?? Trophy Hunters?? Fence sitters? Or is it something When you date non-academics, they don't understand what we do as professors. They think I stay at home and sleep all day. They don't. carebearstare: I know lots of academics involved long-term with non-academics-- just like I know lawyers dating non-lawyers and nurses married to non-nurses..


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But having a substantive other outside of academia can be a truly wonderful thing. To start out, let me preface by dictum that dating someone in academia can also be a wonderful thing, with its own individual set of challenges.

People shared some of their experiences with the challenges of the two-body problem in an earlier post, so let me in a nutshell run down some of the wonderful parts: It can be a spectacular thing. I make be upfront round my personal experiences: I have not in the least seriously dated anyone who was in academia.

The constituent is, though, that this is an issue with evermore relationship. Personally, I love the differences in perspective that come from being with someone with completely different hurtle and academic interests. I like being pushed outside of my science-bubble.

I like learning round aspects of heterogeneous jobs that I will probably not under any condition hold.

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